🧠Here’s how to FIX it (and your brain too!)
Hello Diamond Girl,
Let’s Craft Your Happiness Sandwich 🥪
Abandonment & rejection are the biggest wrecking balls in many women’s lives.
When your relationship is challenged or your heart has been broken, it’s easy to slip into a dark place. I call this the “ditch of despair” or DOD for short. 🪦
I have been to the grimy DOD many times in my life, and honestly I find myself hanging out there about twice a month when I’m stressed and feeling low.
A few emails back, I mentioned my desire to focus more on gratitude and #WINS. I’ve since been making this a daily practice (and it shows!).
For a long time I didn’t get the importance of gratitude work. I knew I was grateful, but why did I need to review it inside my brain?
Well, it seems our very efficient brains dump knowledge and practices that we don’t regularly use AND since our brains tend to skew negative for our survival, the path to the ditch of despair can become more familiar than the path to happiness.
Here’s the big takeaway:
By practicing gratitude and recognizing when you are SAFE (and doing this often), you shift your mindset from a state of fight-or-flight to one of safety, receptivity and connection.
How can you truly connect to a man, yourself and others if you are in even a mild sympathetic state of fight-or-flight?
The answer is, you can’t. You’ll end up sabotaging neutral relationship moments your brain misinterprets as danger.
I’ve coined the term “happiness sandwich” to encapsulate & magnify GRATITUDE, plus it’s a little more fun this way.
The Ingredients: To make a happiness sandwich you’ll want to reflect on past, present, and future events that leave you feeling grateful, happy, calm, rested and secure. Next, it’s about layering these moments to create a rich, fulfilling emotional experience that supports your well-being and gets you out of the DOD.
Watch the sandwich REEL here or FULL VIDEO on Leveling Up Your Feminine Energy.
Go Deep into Your Layers
Past Wins: Reflect and Relive
Start by reflecting on your past achievements and happy moments. These could be significant milestones like graduating from college, landing your first job, or that ex who made you feel oh-so-special with his attention and warm eyes smiling back at you.
Think about how these moments made you feel—proud, excited, connected, seen & loved. Relive those emotions and let them wash over you. Get specific with the cues, sensations and feelings your body experiences. These feelings signal that you are SAFE AND LOVED. (Know them!)
You might notice your limbs feel soft and your body feels perfectly relaxed, or your heart rests in a cozy nest full of potential and joy. Locate where and how you feel safe & happy in those moments.
Present Joys: Acknowledge and Appreciate
Next, bring your focus to the present. What’s happening in your life right now that brings you joy? It could be as simple as a beautiful sunny day, a delicious meal, or a meaningful conversation with a loved one. Acknowledge these moments and appreciate the happiness they bring. Notice how they make you feel in the moment—content, joyful, at peace. Focus on your #WINS every single day. Your brain will naturally build upon this.
Future Hopes: Anticipate and Dream
Finally, look to the future with hope and excitement. How do you want to feel one year from now? How do you want to feel at age 75 and beyond? Who is with you? What are you doing? The future is much more than what you look forward to, it is about who you are becoming.
Are you coming home from work and seeing your husband cooking dinner as you enter the back door? Do your little ones run to greet you? Are your children helping you in your older years? Do you and your husband celebrate your wedding anniversary renewing your vows on the beach? What do you see in the long term, big and small?
Anticipate these events and dream about the happiness they will bring. Feel the excitement and optimism they generate.
New Man Manifesto course goes deeper!
By creating this happiness sandwich, you weave together the positive threads of your life—past, present, and future. This practice helps shift your mind from stress and worry to a place of safety and happiness. When you’re in this positive state, you’re more open to receiving love and support from others, and more capable of being truly present in your relationships. I teach you MORE of these tools in New Man Manifesto.
Did you also get my coaching in a box? Scripts, advice & more!
💞Please keep me posted on your #WINS and if you begin crafting your happiness sandwich, I’d love to know the details! You can message me on IG or reply to this email.
xoxo,
Adrienne
