Dear Diamond Girl,
Be sure to read my list of Feminine Affirmations & Responses below, and let me know how they feel for you. 🙂 You can reach me on Instagram, Facebook OR, be brave and boldly send me a Voice Message to possibly be featured on a future podcast episode.
I’m amazed by the frequency of high value and intelligent women I speak to who are clinging to Time Wasters.
These women are typically stressed-out and over-invested in:
- men who are long-distance,
- men they have never met before or met twice,
- men who rarely text or are minimally investing in you,
- maintaining laser-focus on an unavailable guy or a man who has walked away from the relationship.
I was once such a woman; over-invested and clinging to a man’s past text messages, shared memories and WORSE, his P-O-T-E-N-T-I-A-L.
So often women fall in love with the “relationship past” or the man’s potential.
When a woman gets focused on what could be and what could have been, she doesn’t see the man for who he is, right here, right now.
Back then, I could not let go of the hope of having something more with my time-waster man and continuing a story that never materialized (thankfully!).
I loved thinking about him, fantasizing about our next meet-up, and reminiscing over the past.
Some part of me loved the agony and delight of watching and waiting for my phone to light up with his text.
I would create Social Media posts just for him, hoping to win a LIKE or comment from his hands.
If he would just wake up to how great we’d be as a couple and finally fix his mess, we could be together – is what I often thought.
In exchange for the time I spent worrying over this man and waiting, I lost years of my life that can never be regained. This is a voluntary way a woman loses herself and becomes damaged emotionally by the man.
While I was over-invested and lost in the fog of his potential, I was too preoccupied to make connections with others.
Being hooked on a time-waster is how a commitment-phobic woman stays safe.
I didn’t consider myself commitment-phobic however. I wanted love and a healthy relationship.
Yet I would refute and become irritated by anyone who tried to coax me back to reality, that: If this man truly wanted to be with me, he would.
Any new man I met didn’t compare to my illusionary time-waster and, quite frankly, back then all I seemed to attract were creeps (keep reading for more on that!)
I was sleepwalking through life, stuck in unrealized potential with my time-waster man and heartbroken.
In reality, this man was toying with & enjoying the attention from me and not showing true signs of commitment and maturity.
Again, I was stuck in memories and potential-land, intent on recreating the life or experiences I once had with him. In effect: wasting my life and my potential. Read more about: Being in Love With a Man From the Past.
As long as you are stuck clinging to his texts, reliving old memories and deep in pain, quality men will not be drawn to you.
Predators or creeps can sense a woman is at a time of low-point. Likewise, you may desperately cling to someone that isn’t right for you, out of fear of being alone.
Feminine Energy Responses & Affirmations to Combat Time-Wasters
- If you’re in a fog or chronic bad mood because your guy has not returned or is not texting you back/pursuing you… FEMM response to self: If he truly loved me and wanted to be here with me, he would. It’s as simple as that. Nothing would keep him away if he wanted me.
- He uses a lot of lovely words and poetry such as “I miss you” or “No one else is like you,” or “I love you, but I can’t be in a relationship with you,” yet he doesn’t match those words with ACTION. If he truly loved me and I was so special to him, he’d show up and date me regularly. I look for actions in a man, not just words.
- You’re pursuing the relationship and he’s being lackadaisical. As a Powerful Feminine Energy Woman, I prefer to be pursued by a man. I do not want to do his work for him. I now allow myself to receive.
- He shuts down and gets angry or defensive when you bring up commitment or marriage. “I am curious where you see us going? I don’t feel like we are on the same page. Is there something I should know?” – Get more scripts like this in “500 Ways” ebook & video course.
- You attract men who are not yet divorced, are newly separated or still married. I now attract quality and available men who are seeking a loving, long-lasting relationship that leads to marriage.
- If you’re willing to leave the “door cracked open” and have space for a man to come back and claim you, do so for no more than 3 months. Any longer than 90-days and it becomes a drain on your well-being. Learn more on this method in the ABCs Program.
You can retrain your brain (watch this short) and remedy ingrained impulses to stay in touch or keep a relationship that’s a fantasy world of potential and memories. The only person who gets hurt by a Time-Waster is YOU.
Here’s the takeaway:
If he really loved you and wanted to be with you, he would.
This is not meant to be harsh, but to coax you into reality and break away from old patterns that don’t serve you. This is how you shine like the #DiamondGirl you are!
You need not get lost in the world of his potential or feel that no other man will replace him. This is why I created the ABCs to Get Him Back Program!
You must trust this man can figure out his relationship issues by himself. He must take the steps to pursue and claim you, AND MISS YOU, period! If he can’t do it on his own, ask: Is this truly my dream relationship, where I must do the work for him? (See Video Below.)
Did you know most of the women who attract back the man they wanted, or their Ex, later decide they indeed do not want him back? Why is that? It has everything to do with who you become in the ABCs process. You polish and restore your diamond self!
Consider treating yourself and your future self to my ABCs Program, “500 Ways“, or my COMPLETE COURSE BUNDLE. I teach you the EXACT STEPS, WORDS, MINDSET and so much more to forever change your outlook and develop high-quality boundaries. You’ll be at your most Feminine and Authentic self, where you are highly desired by all men and you’re no longer having to do the man’s work for him.
Stay grounded, Diamond Girl,