I was in love with the man I fell hard for during the first year of the relationship. All the same guy, but not really.
How Can You Turn Back Time?
There is something you should know about me.
Since I am your Love and Relationship Coach, I might appear perfect, or that I have it all figured out. But you should know there was a time in my life when I pursued a man I loved like a Total Stress Case Crazy Lady.
SOME BACK STORY:
- In all honesty: this man treated me like crap.
- He had sex with me when it was convenient for him.
- I spent money I did not have on him, and I pined day and night for him to call, text, or come knocking at my door.
- I even tried to “password guess” my way into his Facebook account to see if there was another woman.
- I also drove past his house at 1am on a Friday night… a time or two.
So… I’m going to stop right there with the crazy leaning forward behaviors I did all in hopes of winning this mans love.
These behaviors were the effect of not knowing all the feminine energy tools and secrets I can share with you now.
I firmly believe the flippant treatment a man can give a woman’s heart can cause symptoms of neurosis. This can bring on behaviors and actions that WE as strong, powerful, and smart women would otherwise never consider. In essence, we become women reacting to fear and abandonment, headstrong on controlling the outcome, instead of observing and accepting WHAT IS.
If you’ve watched to me on YouTube, read my best-selling ebook, “500 Ways” or taken a class of mine, you may be aware that the Adrienne you know would never do the sorts of things mentioned above.
The truth is… I did some things I’m not proud of all in hopes of controlling the outcome with a man. (SMH) 🙂
For example: I spent a year of my life chasing a man all in hopes of Returning Our Love to What it Once Was – circa the first 3-9 months together.
You see, ONCE UPON A TIME he loved me dearly, and seemed to adore the ground I walked on.
About 3 months into the relationship, things got rocky with petty arguments and sullen vibes…
Then about 9 months into the relationship, things got edgy and silent…
Then one day while I was out of town he called to break things off with me.
The moment I hung up the phone, I remember thinking, “This is temporary and I’m going to get him back. He’s just confused and needs time.”
Well, I was correct in my thinking but my actions that followed delayed his ‘sorting out the confusion’ and time alone. It also thwarted my Growth Towards Relationship Success and my own Self-Esteem and Self-Worth.
We got back together quickly, but the relationship felt awful. I also refer to this as, ‘turning into a pumpkin at midnight.’ Things look great at first then suddenly you are worse than you were before.
All I Wanted Was the “OLD” Him BACK!
I wanted back the man I lovingly adored for the first 9 months of the relationship.
I wanted back the man I vacationed with, spent all day in bed with, cuddled, planned, adopted a puppy with, and dreamed of happily-ever-after with.
This was who I was chasing, loving and longing for; a man from the past.
Not the man I had presently. I wanted the man from my past.
The first 9 months or so of ALL relationships is where “everything is bliss”. At some point things get ‘real.’
Relationship Time Travel is what I wanted, and this is what 90% of my coaching clients want as well. To have things back to the way they once were.
I could see the “old” him still flickering behind his eyes. How could I get him (and us) back to the way things once were?
Yet for a year after the first breakup, all I saw was the angry, brooding, snapping man, who seemed to treat me worse each time I saw him.
This wasn’t MY GUY! Where was he?
Then my inner boy kicked into gear, wanting to do the work and run the relationship.
OH LET ME THINK! I need to help him. I need to turn it around for us. I need to remind him of all the trips, love, food, shows, music… sex! Oh yes, there is my way back into his heart!
FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! SOB! FAIL!
All of this doing/thinking/planning only pushed him farther away. I was pursuing him as if I were the man. I didn’t really want to do the work for him. Yet my heart ached and I felt so triggered by abandonment, I could not resist controlling the outcome and winning him back (somehow).
Each time I saw him he seemed to like me less and have less and less respect for me.
It Was As If He Wanted to See How Low I Would Go!
In my coaching practice I’ve found that even the most well-meaning and sweet, and generous man will push a woman’s boundaries to see how much they can get away with. (I don’t believe it is intentional most of the time. Instead, it is innate.)
I believe it is instinct for a man to test quality of a woman.
The Final Straw was a selfie I took of us together – and immediately after I snapped the photo he said, “Don’t tag me… I mean… you can post it, but don’t tag me.”
“Well… um… WHY?” I breathed… Already knowing the answer.
“Because people don’t know we are back together. And honestly, I’m not sure about it either. I don’t want to go public until I am sure about us.”
My heart sank… My mind raced….
What in the heck had I been doing in this relationship for the past year?
All my work, and planning and making everything just so, and He Isn’t Sure!?!? I was angry, humiliated and ultimately decided to WALK AWAY from him. No friendship. No long talk. Simply, “I want to be a wife someday and I don’t feel we are on the same page, so I’m going to be moving on.”
THEN…Three Months Later He Came Knocking on My Front Door – To Claim Me.
The processes I used for myself and clients proved to be so strong in both realigning your feminine energy AND re-attracting the man – I created my best-selling program: The Absolute Best Chances to Get Him Back (or ABCs). Learn more about this program by clicking here.
This is what I want for you: When You Connect With His Heart in a Special Way, Like No Other Woman Has, No Matter What, He Cannot Walk Away From You.
This is the amazing miracle of polarity and feminine & masculine energy.
When you lean back and give him all the time and space he needs, he learns he can trust you, with zero pressure. He feels closer to you than any other woman in his life (except perhaps Mom!)
When you Learn How To Express Your Authentic Feelings – without expectation, manipulation, force, agendas, DRAMA, or strategy – the Man Connects His Heart to your soft, feeling, feminine nature.
It’s a beautiful thing, and this is what I want for you!
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW! Click below to learn more about the ABCs.
You have a lovely red-beating heart inside of your chest that desires a loving, long-lasting relationship with one very special man.
Don’t be like me and spend another year chasing a man and losing your self-esteem and chances for relationship success.
Instead of staying stuck in the past, get into the now and win his heart for good. Once you learn my FEMM or Feminine Energy Methods you’ll understand why he pulled away, what went wrong and exactly how you can be rebuilding the loving long-lasting committed relationship you desire.
Always in love,