These three tips can save your relationship. Still single? Learn these now.
Dear Diamond Girl,
Bickering and misunderstandings can easily ruin even the most solid relationship. A man craves a woman who can offer him:
- Space & silence to process his emotions,
- A small reward when he does something good or right,
- Can share her vulnerability as a girl with him, and,
- A woman who lives within her boundaries.
Sometimes saying ‘no’ to a man is a big turn on.
Most men enjoy the highs and lows of a sport game. They don’t expect to always win. Your boundaries protect YOU, and they give a man challenge and allegiance to honor you.
The challenge is not to bust up your boundaries, but for him to PACE his desire. This is also known as the ‘slow-burn method.’ (See Femm Tools for Dating for more on this.)
Yet, when you feel exhausted and frustrated, being able to respond with boundaries, and a kind tone can feel impossible.
Sometimes you may just disagree and be unable to reach a conclusion that satisfies you both.
There is no right answer to these serious scenarios, but there is a Feminine Energy way to handle your emotions and feelings, so you can strengthen your relationship and have him craving you all the more.
Learning More About Boundaries
If you’re in stress and overwhelm, it’s vital that you can speak your boundaries.
Practice saying: I’m sorry. I need about half an hour to process this. Can we talk a little later today?
I encourage you to take a moment and review the last argument you had with your partner. Can you see how a boundary might have helped you feel less urgent?
I’m feeling triggered and overwhelmed. This is important to discuss. I need to calm down for a bit first.
How can you respond with love for both you and him?
Sticking with that last argument, or an upcoming discussion, ask yourself:
What is the most loving thing I can do for him at this moment?
And, what is the most loving thing I can do for myself at this moment?
Can you see him sitting before you being angry or voicing his complaints, whatever may be going on, but can you ask yourself, at that moment what is the most loving thing to do?
See if you can come up with a loving response? Can you visualize a different scenario? What does the love minded scenario have you doing, saying, and feeling?
This can also work in the heat of the moment, but it really takes practice!
Practice by asking yourself daily, what is the most loving thing to do in this situation?
- Understand the power of your ‘no.’ It may feel good to go along with anything he decides, but your ‘no’ allows the slow burn to take place and build connection and honor for one another.
- Speak Your Boundaries. When you can feel your body responding to stimulus, you can decide what feels good or not. Masculine mind will push feelings aside and focus on outcome. Observe the difference.
- Practice asking yourself: what is the most loving thing I can do at this moment. Practice with yourself and everyone.
Get my new Answer Cards for self-coaching in a box.
I hope that these three tips will help you turn around any argument or disagreement you may be having and grow a kind and loving relationship.
Remember, feminine energy is about receiving and allowing time and space to heal things. To do this, you feeling centered and grounded is a must.
Keep up the good work,