Dear Diamond Girl,
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What makes a man forget all other women and want to claim, keep and pursue you?
The best answer I can offer is authentic Feminine Energy YOU: honest, soft, no agenda, with boundaries, your own interests and a good supply of Feminine Confidence. (More on that in my video!)
So often we get in the way of creating lasting happiness with a man in the form of: helping him via feedback, or unwanted advice, criticism and suggestions. We lower our ‘perceived’ value by having a lack of boundaries for You and Him.
Our confidence can be fleeting and our identity wavers because we are not grounded in our true self/values. We fear losing the man and reside in that fear. In short, your focus is on the man, not you.
Let’s remedy this “laser focus” and start at the top which is understanding: Masculine energy doesn’t like being managed or helped.
Masculine energy often retreats when the Feminine approaches it with assistance, sometimes even when help is requested, one may innocently walk into a spider’s web.
We have to trust the partner we chose can figure it out.
We must have our own boundaries in place for ourselves/children/pets safety and well-being, and offer our concern in the form of “I feel” statements that reflect what you are experiencing in your body.
This may sound like a tap dance, oppression or playing small in order to speak your voice, yet it’s exactly the opposite.
More often with the “I feel” method, you will get what you need and strengthen your relationship with no manipulation and zero masculine energy battle. This means more time with your guy wanting to care for, love and protect you and less power struggles and bickering.
HERE’S AN EXAMPLE: There’s going to be a winter storm blowing in and you & your guy need to fill portable gas tanks for the generator. You are worried gas will get spilled in the car.
Masculine Response: Be sure you check that the gas tank doesn’t leak before putting it in the car. I do not want the car smelling like gas again!
Feminine Response: I feel scared this tank may leak gas from the spout. Is there any way to test it for leaks before it gets in the car? (Notice there is no ‘you’ in this sentence, such as: will you test it? Stick to “I” statements. Clearly state what you feel: it may leak.)
Boundary (if needed): I will not ride in this car with an open container of gasoline.
How would your man respond to the above examples?
Have you noticed a recurring pattern in your relationship, a scenario that keeps unfolding? Let’s address that in my group, iHeartLoveAcademy.
Which one feels better to you when you imagine the scenario? Notice how the Feminine Response allows the man an opportunity to SOLVE a problem.
Do women really ‘drive men away?’ Yes, of course we can, as with anyone.
It is far easier to point the finger than grow and evolve in a positive way that awakens Feminine Energy, and this includes how we judge ourselves (and others).
I relentlessly scrutinized my first husband and found fault in his every move and word. I had decided I was ‘unhappy’ in the relationship and he was ‘toxic’ — so my Masculine Energy brain sought out to find the evidence to support this theory in order to protect me.
I completely looked over the GOOD he was doing and where he was fully present in my life.
Your Inner Boy will go to great lengths to assert dominance when a man is seen as ‘disrespecting you.’
However, to evolve or ‘Move Up The Tiers’ in Feminine Energy, we must challenge what automatic thinking sends our way (boy/masculine energy), be that discovering problems, problem solving, icky feelings that follow masculine thinking and the actions we are urged to take.
Feminine Energy means slowing down and observing our thoughts and impulses. We then have the option to make other choices that feel good and benefit our relationship.
You see, our brains are on auto-pilot until our Inner Girl steps forth in Feminine Energy.
In my newest video I discuss this very topic much deeper. Be sure to watch the video here.
In the video I go deep into feelings of URGENCY that all women endure when their Inner Boy is chomping at the bit to run the show.
I discuss what Feminine Energy Self Esteem really means.
I remind that ‘Adult You’ sets the pacing, and to have boundaries in place so no one takes away your time to ‘feel your way through.’
Men are their happiest when we are singing, feeling good in our body, dancing in the kitchen or skipping through the garden.
Dare I say, we too find happiness in these moments?
This might all sound like a Lord Byron poem, but within that authentic and vulnerable paradise of being a woman lies no doormat! You are a strong mountain on the inside! He sees this too and marvels at it.
That is why it’s important: You Keep Learning & Practicing Your Feminine Energy.
I encourage you to go deeper with “500 Ways” + the 2 Day video class, and if new to dating or if you ARE dating, consider FEMM Tools for Dating or FEMM Tools for Relationships.
FEMM DIAMOND is a DEEP DIVE and contains an eBook primer, ‘Diamond Girl Guide’ and so many Q&A’s + theory and pandemic advice.
Sending you much love today and always,
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