Most women don’t recognize the symptoms of losing their self into the relationship… until it’s too late.
Dear Diamond Girl,
I see it everyday on my Youtube comments and in iHeartLoveAcademy posts. Usually when the relationship is close to ending, a woman realizes she’s been overinvesting in the man and has lost part of her identity in the process.
LISTEN to my friend Helena Hart & I discuss this topic and more, in her most recent Podcast:
Here’s an overview of losing yourself and not being your own priority:
- The man suddenly withdraws, and you feel completely empty and lost,
- You realize you’ve been demanding results from him that resemble perfection,
- You realize you’ve felt constantly disappointed and blaming those around you,
- You’ve put yourself dead last and been living/doing for your man or anyone else,
- Everything comes before your own happiness, even a 10-minute meditation seems impossible.
YOU are the most important relationship to you!
Here are more symptoms you may encounter when YOU are not a priority:
Do you tend to have high expectations that, rarely, no one can meet or uphold? You may feel chronic disappointment and the man just, ‘can’t make you happy.’
Do you feel apathy, or fear when dealing with situations that you’d otherwise respond to with empathy? This can happen when you’re in emotional burnout from people pleasing.
A caller on Helena’s Podcast felt she didn’t care to date anymore, and realized it was fear shutting down her emotions. (See Femm Tools for Dating for help with dating.)
Do you feel dread or icky when figuring out what things feel good to you? Do you have trouble connecting to joy when you do get alone time?
It’s time to cultivate the, ‘Me Date.’
If you’re in stress and overwhelm, it’s vital that you can speak your boundaries and set aside time just for you.
Practice saying: I need about half an hour when I come home to process my day. Can we talk a little later?
I encourage you to take this time to begin cultivating joy in your life, be that a healthy routine, time in nature, a craft project or exercise regimen.
Self-care, just like any other relationship, takes time, commitment and practice.
Be sure to listen to Helena’s Podcast.
I had a great time discussing this topic. There were too many ah-ha moments to name!
Listen Here for APPLE: https://diamondgirl.me/helenapod
Get my new Answer Cards for self-coaching in a box.
I am continually working on my self-care and prioritizing myself. I can easily slip into giving too much of myself to others instead of focusing on my own needs and happiness.
Currently, my favorite things to do include weight lifting, rock painting, decorating my home and actually reading books, not just audiobooks!
Cultivating joy and connecting to your lovely self is a daily ‘love chore.’ Be good to yourself and all of your relationships will prosper.
Keep up the good work,