More than once, I’ve stood at the corner of heartbroken & shattered. Then one day, I discovered Feminine Energy…
My relationship journey is one you can learn from! You can move beyond heartbreak & toxic relationship cycles to create the loving relationship you desire.
Thankfully I pieced together what Feminine Energy meant and how to implement this natural & authentic part of myself , for Myself & my relationships. I created FEMM tools and other programs, to not only repair and lovingly maintain relationships, but to create a life of joy, peace and prosperity.
Now that you’re here with me, you too can transform your love life and so much more.
Below are the vulnerable details of my love life. I am sharing these purple details in hopes you can avoid making the same mistakes I did, and can boldly embrace your inner girl & natural Feminine Energy – all for true love.
Let’s start at the beginning…
My first marriage had felt rocky for years despite numerous therapists, self-help books, alternative healing and lots of hope & prayers. In the end, my first husband and I tearfully parted ways.
We loved each other deeply. It was truly a dark day as I helped him pack his clothes into boxes. Breathless from crying, I collapsed into his closet surrounded by his neatly hung shirts. I tried to calm myself as I breathed in his scent lingering all around.
I especially struggled removing his tools from the house. He was so good at fixing everything – yet here we were, unable to repair us.
And just like that, I let a good masculine energy man who claimed me and loved me dearly – slip away. Despite our differences, my first husband was an excellent provider. He was committed, loyal and took great care of me.
I believed we were ‘incompatible’ and it was mostly his fault. I felt sad about losing him yet very confident love could be replaced. In my 20s, finding love had always been easy. I was now into my late 30s, and I didn’t expect anything to be different.
Little did I know things were about to get MUCH WORSE for me, and my heart. This is one of the reasons why if you’re struggling in your marriage, do not simply give up and go for a divorce. Let me help you TRY SOMETHING NEW before you toss out your vows and commitment.
On the heels of my heartbreak, a new man stepped into my life and quickly swept me off my feet. In other posts or videos, I refer to him as “the Artist.” You may have heard me mention him in this VIDEO.
The Artist was energetic and creative. He showered me with attention and affection. Some call this LOVE BOMBING.
The first 3 months were total BLISS! He came on strong and even spoke of marriage. I was so loved-starved after my marriage ended, now that I was finally being fed with love and warmth I looked past this new man’s dismal finances and emotional instability. I made many excuses for his angry and dark moods and pushed my feelings down.
I painfully endured him ‘taking off’ and disappearing for 3 days or 2 weeks, and blamed myself instead. When he would return I was like a starving puppy and would do anything for his love.
I gave him the best of everything in hopes of keeping him around. I offered blow-jobs, made fancy dinners, paid for trips and took time away from people who consistently loved me to be with him.
I was under the spell of the hot – cold man. HC men starve you with distance then randomly offer a bounty of affection. It’s easy to lose oneself in a man like this. I believe my wounded inner-girl who struggled with being abandoned wanted to at last solve or fix why a man would ever leave me, if he loved me. Back then I believed in WORDS like, “I love you,” instead of actions.
The stress from my divorce and this hot/cold man activated an auto-immune illness inside of me. I was soon diagnosed with Graves’ disease and it was affecting my best feature – my eyes. I still tried to give my hot/cold man everything I had, so he would not leave!
I put myself last, even though my health was struggling.
One day the Artist arrived at my house moody and depressed. I felt he was going to breakup with me, so I went into action! (BOY ENERGY!)
I set out to SOLVE the problem with some fun I knew he couldn’t resist. “Let’s rent a rowboat and take your dog to the lake,” I suggested.
He quickly agreed to the fun and we left my little pup Pikachu at home, as he was too sensitive to the heat of long periods outdoors. As careful as I was with Pikachu, I was in such a hurry out the door, I didn’t check the house like I usually did.
That was the last time I saw my beloved pup, Pikachu alive.
While the artist and I explored the lake, my pup ventured inside the laundry room and got caught up on a bra hanging to dry. I came home to find his lifeless body waiting for me, with the strap twisted tightly around his neck. I imagine he struggled for hours while I was putting on a false smile and laugh to save a lifeless relationship of assumed potential.
My knees hit the ground HARD that day… If you’ve ever lost a pet from natural causes or from an accident it hurts like nothing else. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. My heart goes out to you!
My ‘little boy’ had been with me since graduating college, he was always by my side, protecting and loving me. I had love there at home for me, yet I wanted to fix the ‘alleged love’ that was also abandoning me. I was pursuing and in my boy energy, and endured yet another painful lesson of loss.
There were more lessons, and more and more…
As my auto immune eye condition worsened I needed more time off work. Although I was a top performer at my job, the company felt I was replaceable and fired me. They were completely in the wrong and I eventually sued them and won. Yet this took nearly two years to unfold.
The Artist however, he hung around for about a month after I lost my job.
Once the money was gone, my artist guy too took a permanent leave of absence. He casually walked in my back door, said he, “just didn’t want to be in a relationship,” and I NEVER saw him again.
He never spoke to me again. That was it. No answers, no closure, just good-bye.
So there I was on the corner of dumped and heartbroken. Feeling like my entire world had been turned upside down. I had no husband, no job, no boyfriend and no pet to love. My eyes were causing me severe pain, and had become swollen and disfigured. Who would date me now?
Yet I remained in love with the Artist, a man who turned his back on me and didn’t want me. How messed up is that? Yet if you’re reading this you may also be in love with a man who has abandoned you. I created the ABC’s Program to help with this type of situation.
If you find yourself LOVING a man who does not treat you well – you may be in love with his POTENTIAL. This is something your heart sees inside of him. That you two, under the right circumstances could be very happy together. This is the trap of loving a man’s POTENTIAL. The ABCS will help you get your love and yourself back on track.
Here are the greatest lessons I’ve learned in this quagmire:
- A man’s words mean nothing. His actions SPEAK volumes. If he says, “I love you,” yet punches you, the wall, your child or abandons or cheats on you – wake up your inner #DiamondGirl. LOVE IS HOW YOU TREAT SOMEONE.
- It need not be only violence for you to notice his actions instead of his words. A man may say one thing yet isn’t there – it’s time to look into the terms and conditions of the relationship.
- If he leaves & you are not his soulmate, say ‘thank you,’ and close the door. Grieve the loss of that potential, but boldly get on with attracting men who WANT to be with you.
- Don’t GIVE to GET. If you’re running around to make everything perfect so the man will be happy and stay – you are in bondage. If you are buying plane tickets to go see him, getting breast implants so he’ll notice you or pretending to be the perfect girl – THIS IS NOT LOVE. You need not ‘do’ anything to have a man devoted to you irrevocably.
- Let go of expectations, judgements and free yourself from anyone owing you anything. You do you Boo! And do what you need to and what feels good and right FOR YOU.
- The right relationship will find you. Problems will untangle. Feminine Energy will guide you along. Life will feel peaceful when you stop allowing Boy Energy to control everyone’s karma and outcome. Let it unfold. Take care of you, your children and your pets.
- The man will figure it out. Whatever mess he’s in, he’s got to solve it for himself. He is after all, a man. Who are you? I’ll tell you. You are a hardworking lady, a mother, a caregiver, a passionate creative being who needs to put all that BOY ENERGY into her own life. The right man will take notice and stick around. He will claim you, protect you and wrap you up in his arms every night.
I turned my life around and so can you!
At some point, I found new love, and we are happily married and together for nearly 10 years.
Yet we too endured several heart-wrenching breakup as my learning and growing continued. I am a slow learner it seems! Yet you don’t have to take this same slow path. Again, look into the ABCs program for more on how this works!
Now, I’m not sharing this story with you to gain empathy, because what you are coping with is likely just as terrible feeling or much worse. My heart goes out to you – as we are all sisters in this pain. Myself and countless women throughout history are and have walked this same path you are on now.
There is NOBILITY in heartbreak!
You learn, grow and expand in ways otherwise not ever imagined. Do not hide in shame or blankets of pain. There is no healing when we hide our face from the world. Own exactly where you are! Decide where you want to be and most importantly how you want that ‘new place’ to feel.
The corner of heartbroken and lonely is a temporary location. It will not last forever and can and will improve immensely when you align yourself with your authentic feminine value and boundaries.
Don’t waste another day trying to ‘figure him out’ with boy energy – the answers are inside of your beautiful feminine body, heart and soul.
Do you want to learn more about your inner girl?
Even if you don’t want him back, this program will offer you the energy and growth you need to get the loving relationship you desire.
If you are struggling to get over a hot / cold man, enduring heartbreak or simply want to learn how to invite (and keep) the right type of man into your life and utilize feminine energy – I invite you to discover the Absolute Best Chances to Get Him Back.
Walking this path with you,