Once upon a time, I was facing my darkest days and nights.
I was sick, broke and alone. At age 40, I was divorced, dumped, jobless, and deep in remorse and grief.
To make it more hellish, I was battling a medical condition (Graves’) that had my right eye bulging from its socket and drifting into the back of my skull.
It took all my strength to get up each day and survive each passing hour.
All I could think about was how much happier I was before all of this madness.
Back when ‘the Artist’ would hold me tight and sing to me. Or when my husband would massage my feet or drive me to a doctor’s appointment. Or when my beloved pup would greet me each morning with licks and barks.
Everything and everyone I once loved, was gone.
If I only knew then what I know now.
I was deep in the darkness with no sign of light ahead. I was so consumed with outcome, and the past, that I didn’t take footing in the NOW. Consequently, I suffered more so.
In retrospect, I needed to talk to myself with LOVE instead of rehash misery.
I needed to cultivate JOY and more of the things that made my toes curl.
Yes, I was adjusting to massive change, AND CHANGE IS OFTEN PAINFUL. I don’t know why I couldn’t let go and accept it. I struggled with ‘what was’ instead of going with the flow.
When you are mired in depression, recognizing feelings of joy is a task unto itself. Even when I did feel happy, it only reminded me of ‘happier times’ from my past.
I was SERIOUSLY STUCK.
So stuck and so fixed on outcome, I call those times my “Super Glue” years. Because despite all the ickiness, I was holding it all together. Oh yes, I was, and so are you. 🙂
You may be ‘just holding on’ but this is resiliency and a survivor spirit. That’s power shining through!
Or perhaps you are having momentary blues and memories of past loves, faded hope and let-downs.
You are in a season of recognizing what it is you DO NOT want in life. Just because you may be unhappy doesn’t mean you stop loving yourself and loving what is around you. You rebuild.
Here’s what I’d tell PAST Adrienne — if PRESENT Adrienne could have spoken with her.
#1 The Man is not the prize. You may be lonely as heck, drowning in sadness, but the man is not the answer. Being coupled is not the cure. Yes, it will be part of your happiness someday, but right now, the guy who walked out on you, he is not the cure. You are the prize, not winning back his bony ass. You do not want to do the man’s work for him!
#2 If this (whatever you are experiencing) is not your dream, get in touch with what is. You might really think a man who walked out on you is the dream, but hey, he walked out on you! He won’t call you back! He’s full of excuses. Is that really your dream? I hope you answer, ‘no.’ This isn’t to talk you out of him, it’s to give you insight and calm the hunt your Inner Boy has you on. This step changes your vibe forever and moves you up a tier.
#3 You can start over any time you like. You can work out and get a hot revenge body. You can quit your bad habits. You can adopt a pet who needs a home. You can create your New Man Manifesto and CALL-FORTH the qualities you desire in a man. Furthermore, you need not be stuck, simply get clear on what you do desire, focus on that and trust it is coming.
In my new video, I open up about my current struggles…
Enjoy the new video! And remember, if you need coaching, get yourself my Answer Cards and see why everyone calls it “Coaching in a Box!”
Be good to yourself, past, present and future!