“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Dear Diamond Girl:
When I step back from my years of coaching and examine the questions and concerns of women around the world, I see a few common threads.
- How do I get my man to change?
- The man is either moving toward you or away from you.
- Progress takes time, patience and work on the self.
Most women want to know how to change a man.
What can they do or say to make him: commit, be faithful, call more and love you?
While there are some magical phrases men love to hear, these words will not work long term if the Feminine Energy work within is not done in tandem.
You often hear me say: “This work (Feminine Energy) begins and ends with how you feel.”
In my latest video, I address this matter specifically, dealing with men who appear to be narcissistic or have narcissistic behaviors.
Click the video below to watch.
People are capable of change, however…
A person changes because you make changes, are consistent, and provide positive feedback. Yet no one is capable of reaching ‘perfection’ — keep that in mind.
It’s about reaching a middle ground that is comfortable & healthy for you both.
Every situation is UNIQUE.
A woman always knows when to walk away from a man for good, yet not all women CAN walk away. Until you can do so, my tools may help.
NOTE: If you are experiencing violence, physical neglect or domestic abuse of yourself, children, elderly or pets, please seek additional support. Silence is Violence.
No matter your religion, education or fears, physical violence is unacceptable.
Not all violence can be seen. Bruises can be hidden under clothing and children make up stories to explain physical damage. Look for the signs. Ask the questions. GET HELP no matter your age or religion. https://www.thehotline.org/
Let’s look at some common examples where women desire change in a man.
If a man only texts and doesn’t call or ask for dates: You’ll have to stop responding to his texts for a day or so. Then let him know a boundary + feeling statement: “Feels good to hear from you… yet I’m seeking a regular dating realtionship, and I feel we just are not on the same page, so I’m going to be moving on.” You may have to hit repeat on this as he lines up excuses to keep things his way. Be consistent.
If a man is not interested in commitment: You’ll have to accept his ‘no.’ By accepting his no and no longer pursuing him, you create space to allow the man to step into his masculine energy and pursue you. If he doesn’t want lovely amazing you, he’s got bigger problems!
If your husband or boyfriend is on his phone engaging in porn or games instead of quality time with you: You’ll have to have a series of feeling statemets, followed by “what do you think?”
This will not produce instant results. Remember: change takes patience and time. Some men may never change. Again, a woman knows when to walk away.
More examples are in “500 Ways to Talk to a Man” ebook, but here are a few:
I feel lonely and miss our cuddle time. It seems the phone is in your hands more than my soft skin… what can we do to fix this?
I feel distance between us and I’d like to fix it. Is there anything I need to know? (Pause and let him speak. This may need repeating on different days.)
Would feel so good to have time together with no technology and make one another feel good. What do you think?
I hope my video, blog and programs are helping your relationship and life as a powerful, dynamite woman.
Please do not forget how powerful & wonderful your words, energy and being truly are!
Sending you much love today and always,