In my latest YouTube video, When Men Trigger You to Cling – Anxious Attachment Style meets Feminine Energy, I share my proven tips & tools on how to feel secure in your feminine energy while in a relationship or brightly single.
Perhaps you’re like me and thousands of other women who battle a slew of anxious thoughts that creep in and threaten the well-being of your relationship? Your anxious mind replays the last exchanges you had with your person of interest and fear steps in, making you question your every word and scrutinize their every glance or gesture.
Do any of these ruminating questions or worries plague you?
“Its obvious that he’s losing interest in me”
“It’s clear I’ll never hear from him again”
“I should have never said or done that!”
“Why isn’t he more affectionate?”
“He doesn’t love me as much as I love him”
If you have symptoms of anxious attachment, worry not, this is only temporary.
Are you putting him on a pedestal?
I never understood this question correctly – until I realized it meant putting the man ahead of our own needs, feelings and desires. When we put the man atop our own rightful pedestal is it any wonder we feel anxious and the man loses interest or disrespects our presence?
👉Feminine Energy Mindset Method or FEMM is an endeavor that begins and ends with how YOU feel.
👉FEMM teaches you to locate and remain in your body, not up in his head and the world of ‘what ifs?’.
Now, how do you feel? Really, how do YOU feel?
Can you answer ‘how do I feel’ without it being about the man?🌹
EX: I feel nervous and tingly that something is going to go wrong. (correct!)
I feel like he’s not even trying and I should set him free. (wrong-ish!) Note the multiple use of “he or him.” This is a clue you’re making your feelings about him, not lovely amazing YOU.
👉FEMM work begins and ends with how YOU feel #DiamondGirl (Pssst – Diamond Girls are brilliant, one of a kind, valuable and extremely rare. Oh, and we go for the 💍 too! #DiamondGirlStatus)
Your work of extracting him from the pedestal and positioning your own booty in the seat is not about how HE feels, and not about being consumed with figuring out what’s going on in HIS head. #freedom You are not his therapist or mom. This work is about you! (Pssst – Men do not marry their moms or therapists!)
It’s tempting to crawl inside his head but this action/thinking (aka ‘boy energy’) gets you nowhere except LOST from your beautiful self and on continued hiatus from connecting with your amazing lovely inner girl.
👉All that really matters is How You Feel. – I keep repeating myself!
I know, it’s so frustratingly simple, yet why can’t we ‘just do it’ and hone in our feelings more efficiently?
DARN YOU BOY ENERGY! There you go again!
Your inner dude is making it all about linear timelines and results.
Girl energy isn’t about outcome, planning or producing results. She is relaxed and focused on HER.
She’s about leaning back, clarity of the self and desires, seeing what the man can do with that FEMM invitation and openness, being free from judgments and allowing the whole thing to simply unfold, sans boy energy manipulation.
Whew! That was a mouthful!
When you get out of the man’s head and into your body you’ll begin to experience shifts in how good/free/light you feel and how the world responds to you. (Life gets better and you are more attractive & alluring in this energy/mindset.)
When you are outside of your body, only part of you is available for your family, kids, friends, loved ones, YOURSELF and the man. He feels that only a portion of you is available and a man can’t trust just part of you. He needs ALL of you.
When the world gets half of you, you are in disconnect mode. Life feels hectic, sad and you are not at your most attractive energy, or worse: you attract the wrong types who nibble at this energy dysfunction.
Truth time: I have spent YEARS inside of a man’s head. I was so worried about how to help FIX this or that. him and us, his stuff not my stuff. I spent my beautiful days on this planet concerned with what he must be thinking or must have thought – basically a neurotic fortune teller. As if any of my negative thinking would actually help anything.
Literally, what was I thinking? Answer: that was my problem! I had abandoned my body and let my problem-solving inner boy take over my life. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great at so many things. Yet when it comes to a relationship with a man, there is room for only one man. Otherwise it becomes a competitive and unattractive power struggle with occasional sex and connection. In short, don’t let your inner boy run your relationship.
Reclaim your mind, body and life now… please! Get all the snuggles, love and affection you crave without all the worry and fear.
YES…It is SO TEMPTING to ‘figure the man out’ and try to guess and solve all his internal happenings but this helps you not.
P.S. Don’t chatter to mom or girlfriends speculating what your guy may be up to either. 🤣
It only draws more of those issues/problems into your life. (i.e. you are still in his head.)
When you are in his head and full of worry, you lose yourself. Your light goes dim. You become more focused on solving an emotional issue rather than caring for your OWN emotional well-being and feeling what’s going on in your BODY.
👉That worried anxious version of you is not attractive to anyone. Again, FEMM work begins and ends with how you feel.
Staying in your body INSPIRES a man to come closer.
When your energy is expanding and not smothering him, this is an alluring feminine quality.
You can speak how you feel, be warm and even ‘help’ him by focusing on YOU and not fixing, figuring him out or being up in his head. He’s a man, after all. He can take care of himself.
Don’t let his problems become your problems.
Allow anxious attachment styles to become part of your past. We all have anxiety and the potential to think the worst.
When you focus your energy on being seated atop your pedestal it’s remarkable how your inner girl will begin to speak up.
Give your man some time to notice your transformation into the FEMM world, and if you wish to dive deeper into learning, consider FEMM TOOLS for Dating, Relationships or FEMM Diamond.
Sending you much love and gratitude,