What To Do When a Man Pulls Away
When a man starts pulling away, most women do the opposite of what works.
The anxiety kicks in, the over-texting starts, and the need to fix it becomes almost unbearable. And in doing all of that, you push him further away.
The Two-Week Feminine Energy Reset is one of my most powerful tools — and it works every single time. Watch the video here, or listen to the podcast episode here.
Why Chasing Him Makes Him Pull Away More
In most cases, it’s not about something you did catastrophically wrong. Masculine energy processes internally. When things feel heavy, or a man goes quiet, or “to the cave.” He’s not rejecting you — he’s retreating into himself.
Chasing, pursuing or laser focusing on a man can also make him pull away. So often a woman means well, checking in, texting, and thinking about a man, but a man pulls away if there is too much energy directed at him.
The other common reason is crowding. Again, if your energy has been very focused on him, lots of texting, checking in, opinions and direction, he starts to feel the weight of it and this is why men pull away.
Masculine energy moves away from pressure. When it feels heavy, he creates distance.
This doesn’t mean it’s over. It means it’s time for a reset.
A man can also use distance and pulling away as a manipulation tactic. If it feels like manipulation or punishment, it usually is — however, these are not always true red flags. A lot of a man’s actions need to be examined in terms of frequency, duration, and how he solves or corrects the distance.
I go much deeper into knowing the difference between manipulation as punishment versus true retreating to process next week on my YouTube channel — so be sure you subscribe and ring the bell 🔔
The Difference Between Pulling Away and Manipulation
I made a bonus video about this very topic, be sure to bookmark it to watch and come back to this page to read more. Is He Pulling Away to Manipulate You?
How Masculine Energy Processes Stress
Two weeks is a good amount of time for a man’s nervous system to relax and begin to miss you. My Feminine Energy reset or training period, is not a permanent way of being. It’s a concentrated window designed to shift the energy — yours and his.
By day three or four the restlessness eases for both of you. By the end of week one most women feel something unexpected: relief. Lightness. Themselves coming back online. By week two you’re not resetting anymore — you’re reclaiming.
After two weeks you come back to the relationship with a new energy baseline. Think of it as pressing refresh — on yourself, on the dynamic, on everything between you.
Men process their stress with quiet alone time, or an activity that connect them to their boyhood, which is now their manhood. He may spend hours in his toolshed, or playing or watching sports, or listening to music for example.
What To Do When He Pulls Away: The 2-Week Feminine Energy Reset
Watch the full video: If He Pulls Away – Do This, He Will Chase & Pursue! 2 Week Feminine Energy Reset
Step 1: Let Go of Judgments and Opinions For two weeks, observe him without stepping in. No corrections, no coaching, no redirecting. Let him be a man. He relaxes, drops back into his masculine energy, and you’ll notice how often the urge to manage him arises. That noticing is part of the reset.
Step 2: Observe Yourself Every time you feel the urge to correct or persuade him, pause. Notice it in your body. Breathe. Ask yourself — what’s the softest, most Feminine Energy way to show up right now? This step alone will soften your energy so noticeably he will feel it.
Step 3: Lean Back Physically and Energetically Let silence do the heavy lifting. Warm, spacious silence creates tension — the good kind. The kind that makes a man feel the gap between you and instinctively want to close it. Ride out the strangeness. It’s working.
Step 4: Let Him Experience His Own Consequences You are not his mother, therapist, or coach. He learns through his own experience. When you stop saving the day, he has to step up. Create the space and let him fill it.
Step 5: Redirect Your Energy Back Onto Your Life This is what makes everything else work. All that energy you’ve been pouring in his direction — redirect it back onto you. What brings you joy right now? What do you actually want to be doing? A woman genuinely living her life is magnetic. That’s the energy he fell in love with in the first place.
Reclaim Your Feminine Energy and Let Him Pursue You
Every day I stop and notice where my energy is going. Where is my focus? Who is my focus? And most importantly, why?
This morning for example, I wanted to order a DoorDash breakfast for my husband and I.
Is that leaning forward and pursuing him? We both need breakfast, right?
Yet I can’t recall the last time he inititaed orderign breakfast and here’s why… he pursues me in other ways.
He likes to cook a hot breakfast, and he is often cooking for the both of us.
The point isn’t to stop leaning in or pursuing your partner altogether. There’s a lot of goodwill, connection, and intimacy that can be built through those efforts.
Your goal is to observe how often you are leaning in to pursue him, instead of your own rich, juicy life, your goals, your daydream and finding the everyday Nirvana that feels so good. (I alos like this article by John Gottman.
Ready to Dive Deeper into Feminine Energy?
I teach the Two Week Feminine Energy Reset in full in my FEMM Reset & Refresh Course, plus my eBook & course 500 Ways to Talk to a Man and in ABCs to Get Him Back.
👉 500 Ways to Talk to a Man
👉Reset & Refresh Trainings
👉All My Courses – BUNDLE PRICED!
The Feminine Energy reset can be nuanced, as is Walking Away from a man, so if you need 1:1 guidance, feel free to book a coaching session with me here.
Watch: A short I’m not so proud of because I was having fun with a filter.
Watch: How to Be High Value When He Pulls Away.
xoxo,
Adrienne