Is Your Anxious Attachment Really a Protective Part of You Trying to Stay in Control?
Anxious attachment can make you feel as though losing a man would mean losing your safety, stability, or ability to cope.
You may cling, overthink, become angry, or try to control the relationship—not because you are weak, but because a protective part of you believes it must prevent abandonment at all costs.
I call this protective energy your Inner Boy. He is the part of you that wants to solve, control, defend, and keep you from ever feeling powerless again.Is anxious attachment plaguing your relationships?
In this episode, I get you to reexamine what it means to label yourself as an “anxious attachment” style, and I also share my Inner Boy Ritual to calm your anxious, clingy, or insecure boy — who might be more involved in your anxieties than previously imagined.
Listen on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts!
For any wide variety of reasons, we can develop an insecure attachment style based on our pasts, whether it be abuse, abandonment, control or separation.
In this episode, I teach you not only WHY you possess anxious attachment characteristics, but HOW to heal your energies that dwell on anxious thoughts and outcomes in your relationship and life.
I discuss how CONTROL is behind anger and anxieties, especially when a man isn’t doing what we’d hoped or wanted him to do.
After all, expectation is the mother of all disappointment.
In addition, I will touch upon how you can break the cycle of feeling a man is vital for your survival; & how your brain is hardwired to protect you, but often gets confused about what the healthiest options are.
Wrapping up this episode, I walk you through an exercise that puts your Inner Boy in front of you. The two of you get to have a conversation about the men in your life.
You will learn to take back control, in turn shedding your anger and ultimately taking the anxiety out of your relationship.
My Inner Boy Ritual will help balance your masculine and feminine energies in relation to Anxious Attachment, and create a more harmonious relationship with your man, everyone and especially YOU.
Happy Listening!
Do you need help developing your own rich juicy life? Read more here!
How the Inner Boy Can Fuel Anxious Attachment
These thoughts can lead to chasing, arguing, monitoring, or trying to control the outcome. The goal is not to shame this part of you. It is to recognize that he is trying to protect you.
Your Inner Boy may become activated when a man pulls away, changes his behavior, or does not respond the way you hoped.
He may tell you:
“You need to fix this now.”
“You cannot handle losing him.”
“Make him understand.”
“Do something before it is too late.”
A Simple Inner Boy Ritual for Relationship Anxiety
“I am here. I can take care of us. We do not have to control this man in order to be safe.”
Close your eyes and imagine your Inner Boy standing in front of you.
Ask him:
“What are you afraid will happen if this man leaves?”
“What are you trying to protect me from?”
“What do you need to hear from me right now?”
Let him answer without correcting or judging him. Then remind him: “I am here. I can take care of us. We do not have to control this man in order to be safe.”
How to Feel Safe Without Controlling the Relationship
Explore my EGO STATES work to discover “who is speaking/running your life” – this was a class I taught in my private group, iHeartLoveAcademy.
Consider a 1:1 coaching session with me for deeper work. I am here for you!
Sending you much love today and always,
