Conversations in the Car & Beyond
Relationship conversations often happen in the car, offering a unique space for reflection on communication dynamics.
In this newsletter, I share my own story of putting my safety first, speaking my boundary, being refused, and finding a way out of a speeding car. 🚗
Plus I’m also sharing powerful scripts to strengthen your relationship, maintain your Feminine Energy, and avoid unnecessary arguments while on the road and BEYOND.
👉THERE’S MORE – you get a special LOVE BONUS script at the end of this blog!
My recent podcast episode covers how you can articulate conversations with a “problematic man” who tends to blame you or get upset easily. Don’t miss Episode #67! It is quickly moving into the top 10 spots of This Podcast is For Women!
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Fun fact: Women’s knack for navigation dates back to our ancestral days as gatherers, contributing over 70% of the group’s food by remembering landmarks and routes. In short, women remember directions better than most men.
Scripts for Your Boundaries
Problem #1: He’s running late, OR, you’re concerned you’ll be rushing in some way.
Option one: You could lean back and see how the evening unfolds without you saying or doing anything. Embrace your feminine role, relax, and let him take the lead. This is a very relaxing option for you!
However, if you need to speak up and voice your concerns:
Option two: “I feel excited about the show tonight, but worried about time. I don’t want to be late. What do you think?”
You could offer that you know a shortcut, or have a good idea.
“I have an idea about saving time tonight – if you’re interested.”
If you take on the problem solving role in the relationship, the man may become lazy, resentful or feel you’re stepping on his role as the Masculine provider.
Try these scripts out today so your man will stay motivated to Problem Solve and you can relax and let him lead.
Here’s a tricky one to experiment with: LET THE MAN FAIL AND RECOVER – all on his own.
When you are in the car with your man, and you’re running 20 minutes behind schedule for the show – and you KNOW if he makes a LEFT at this intersection it will shave off time – What Do You Do?Â
Here is the easy answer: Lean back and be the girl in the relationship! Receive, and let him do all the thinking, solving and planning.Â
If he makes a wrong turn, let him course correct!
Your Boundaries Matter!
While respecting the man’s autonomy in travel decisions is important, if it compromises your physical, mental, or emotional well-being, it’s vital to assert your needs.
SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF
Being on time is not worth driving recklessly – in which your life and others are at risk.
Problem# 2: What if the man you are with isn’t a safe driver? What if he has road rage, or is speeding, and you don’t feel safe and he won’t slow down!
What if you are choking down your anxiety, about to wet your pants, and you man is on an angry power trip?
Your Safety Comes First – Never Forget That.
If your man is speeding and you feel unsafe – tell him how you feel.“My stomach is in knots right now, I feel scared going this speed. Can you please slow down?”
Or, “You must feel really frustrated at that other driver. My heart is beating out of my chest because I am scared. Can we pull off and calm down for a few minutes?”
Or, “I am not seeking perfection and know you will occasionally get upset while driving. Yet can you please not scream or use profanity in the car? I want to ride along with you, but I will no longer travel with you if the profanity continues.”
TRUE STORY
My first husband was once speeding in the rain on the highway, and we were skidding, and hydroplaning all over the place. I am already a nervous traveler, and I ended up holding my feelings in until I was begging and crying for him to slow down.
He was on a power trip and told me to “calm down and take a nerve pill.”
I feigned needing a pee-break and asked him to please stop so I could relieve myself.
When we pulled off the highway for a bathroom break, I calmed down, and called my Mom to come get me. I refused to get back in the car with my guy for more sadistic torture.
Right there in the McDonald’s parking lot, I firmly put my boundaries into place.
I let my guy know, “I need a man who understands I need to feel safe in a car.”
He assured me that he was the man for the job and apologized profusely. He admitted he got lost in the pace of the other drivers and just wanted to hurry up and get us to our location.
I told my man, “I’d like to take our time, hold hands and feel good being together. What do you think?”
He offered me french fries, and a kiss to seal the deal.
My man and I turned a corner on our relationship that trip, and felt closer than we had in a long time.
When you set a boundary with a man, your value in his eyes goes up.
He knows you won’t endure just any ol’ treatment, and he knows you will walk away. This usually inspires a man to treat you like the Goddess you are…and more!
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Always in love,
Adrienne Everheart
P.S. BONUS LOVE SCRIPT: When in a car, if your man braces your body for a stop sign or sudden stop, be sure to graciously thank him with your Feminine Voice. Thank him also EVERY TIME he drives you to a location safely.
“I feel so safe in your hands, thank you for caring for me.”
“Thank you so very much for getting us home safety. You are the best driver.”
Get more scripts in “500 Ways” ebook and video classes!