In my coaching practice, one of the techniques I use gives you a behind-the-scenes view of the inner-workings of your relationship.
In using this powerful tool after only a few minutes, clients are often shocked at how their own thoughts and agendas are sabotaging their love and relationship. This process is a real eye opener, and allows us to QUICKLY FIX the thing that is going wrong with your man.
The most common thought or agenda for most women, is that they want a man to be doing something specific for them. See if any of these items are on your man’s to-do list:
Do any of these sound familiar? Is there something your guy is or is not doing that you want to change?
Perhaps you have tried talking it out. Did all that talking really help? Or was it exhausting, and served to create more distance?
Did you try therapy or counseling only to be disappointed at the lack of results? Did you find post sessions, you often argued even more?
Have you been manipulative, and sneaky, doing things to make him jealous or direct the conversation in a way that you desire?
None of these tactics will work long-term, and none of these tactics FEEL GOOD.
When you’re in a controlling mode of energy, you’re not the alluring, soft, and attractive woman he fell in love with.
Men can sense manipulation fifty miles away. They know immediately when you are attempting to control the outcome of a conversation, and they don’t like it when you act like their coach or therapist. Men do not appreciate being told what to do, plain and simple, it’s a big turn off for them.
The One Thing You Can Do, Is Change Your Own Thoughts.
Decide right now that you are no longer going to try and change (aka control) your partner. If he doesn’t wear the shirt you picked out… or forgets to comb his hair… or turns the wrong way on a street… Spare him. Free him from the bondage of being perfect, and doing exactly what you desire.
Let him be the imperfect and beautiful man you fell in love with.
Then, focus on what you do LOVE and LIKE!
I had a long time boyfriend that I adored, but he often forgot to brush his hair, or use a lint brush (he owned cats). When he’d show up at my door, eyes on fire with love and affection for me – I’d ask him if he forgot his comb, or if he’d like to use my lint brush…
My innocent suggestion, full of good-will, was a love toxin. I was also in my boy-energy of “doing” and this is dually a big turn off for a man.
You can shift your vibe with your man, and begin to attract him once more starting right now! You can pull you man closer by focusing on what you do like, and ignore the rest.
For one hour observe your thoughts before you speak them, and take notice if you are trying to get your man to do something. Continue this practice daily, and replace your criticisms with what you do admire about your partner. You will find this instantly shifts the mood and energy around you, and your man will begin to gravitate closer your way.
Dropping the thought of controlling or changing him will make both you and him FEEL GOOD, and when you are happier together things will begin to naturally improve in the relationship, and you will in turn attract more good feelings.
Remember: All men love to please and make a woman happy – whether it is their mother, sister, little old lady crossing the street, or You. Accept him as he is, and allow him the space to move towards you, to make you happy, and get ready to be surprised.
Some habits a man has can be a deal-breaker… Instead of having the mindset that you can “change him” or just suffer through, I can show you that there is a “third option”. If you need some help on learning how to shift your vibe, finding the third option, or have a specific problem not mentioned here, please contact me for a complimentary phone session.
In Love Always,