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October 13, 2015
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October 22, 2015

How Mac ‘n’ Cheese Pizza Brought Us Closer

What Macaroni and Cheese Pizza Taught Me About Love

Macaroni and Cheese Pizza: it is the bipolar opposite of low carb. But it’s what the man I was dating wanted to cook me for dinner one night.

It wasn’t the Caesar Salad we had originally discussed having. You see, I was trying to lose a few extra pounds I had put on since winter. I had steadfastly been on a healthy eating plan and this pizza was going to ruin that stretch.

I didn’t even really like macaroni and cheese. Pasta was a dish I indulged in only when I needed comfort food. Heck, if I wanted to cheat on my diet, it would be with New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream.

In the kitchen my guy’s green eyes were swirling with excitement. “I was thinking of adding garlic to spice it up,” he said.

Great! Now my breath will be ruined too.

My first impulse was to kindly turn him down and ask about what happened to the salad idea? Perhaps I needed to educate him on my healthy eating plan, and suggest a lighter alternative and a nice long walk after dinner.

I was about to make my issue with food – his issue.

My thoughts raced.

Skinny jeans, or mac ‘n’ cheese pizza? Up a pound tomorrow for mac ‘n’ cheese pizza? Feeling on track with my diet, or mac ‘n’ cheese pizza? Losing that excitement in his eyes, or mac ‘n’ cheese pizza?

I thought about our last few dates – he usually opted for more Asian and Thai style food which generally had healthier options. The last time we had cooked dinner together we had salad and shrimp. Would every meal always have to be gluten free, low calorie, and ingredient restrictive recipes?

By me wanting to control the menu… was I being in my “boy energy” of controlling and doing? Wait!!! Isn’t restrictive eating typically considered a girl thing? What energy was I in?  What is the difference between speaking up for yourself, and (unattractively) taking over the male energy?

What if ooey gooey mac and cheese pizza wasn’t what I wanted to eat? What if I just wanted a simple salad and some poached salmon? Do I need to eat food I don’t want in order to date a man happily, and stay in my feminine energy?

The situation soon escalated.

“Maybe we should crumble some Velveeta cheese on top and make it even cheesier,” he suggested.

I was on the verge of a panic attack.

I didn’t like how I was feeling, and I could tell my guy could sense I was stiffening up. It changed the mood in the room, and the excitement was dampening.

So I decided to lean back, and let him be in charge of dinner. One of the tools I teach is about leaning back and allowing your man to make you happy.

My guy loved to cook and I loved to watch him. He had also suffered a lot of loss recently so maybe he really needed the comfort food. I mean, there have been times in my life where I craved a particular food so much that nothing could come between me and having that item.

I told my guy, “It all sounds delicious!” Because the truth is, I’ve never had mac ‘n’ cheese pizza. It did sound delicious, and it would be a real treat as I typically would not allow myself such a decadent food.

I might not be the biggest mac and cheese pizza fan, but his excitement and desire to please me and cook for me was a big turn on. So I turned off my need to control my food options, and for tonight my pallet was all his. I surrendered and the mood in the room began to grow light, and energizing once again.

I cubed the Velveeta cheese while he prepped the dough and macaroni. My guy sang along happily to his favorite music and we took turns dancing around the kitchen floor.

The pizza was surprisingly to my liking, comforting, and tasty. It was almost as good as all the love and warm feelings we created that evening.

And that is what it is all about – creating positive and loving moments.

I will never forget how proud my guy behaved that night.

He served me my plate so sweetly, and made sure I had enough napkins. and a filled glass all the while.

I let go of my control and had a memorable evening. I relaxed, which felt so good. I leaned back, which took all the expectations off of him,  and I allowed myself to be served and to be loved.

For the next few days pay attention to the things your man suggests doing or having, and see how often you want to change things to the way you want them.

It’s not about letting go of what you want and need. In fact, one of the most important things you can say to a man is, “I don’t want this.”

Yet sometimes as women, we can over-function in our boy energy and begin controlling everything around us.  This is exhausting for us, and those around us.

Leaning back is about allowing the man to take charge and please you, so that together you build positive moments that turn into lifelong love, happiness, and commitment.

Enjoy the food he cooks for you, as he is doing his very best to please you.  Smile,  and accept him as he is,  and this will truly win his heart.

Always in love,

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2 Comments

  1. LaylaP says:

    When I read this I realized I do the very same thing. I usually tell my boyfriend where we are going out to eat, and sometimes I even tell him what to order because he is trying to watch his weight and blood pressure. He always seems agitated with me when I do this. I’m going to try and stop! Lately he just seems so stressed around me, and I want us to go back to the way we were.

  2. Misha84 says:

    Good advice and good story. I can relate mostly because meals together with my husband and his family is very important time spent together. I usually do all the cooking and he does not help. By the time we all sit down together I am agitated instead of like you said, leaning back and letting us enjoy our family time together. How can I get my husband to help more around the house with things like cooking or cleaning? If I ask him, is that leaning back or using my boy energy that you talk about? We have four children and I need the help.

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